How did I get seven blind dates in a row?
Blind dates are really not for me.
since I was 20 years old, my parents have been very sure that I can't get married, because, as a woman, I can't even act coquettish.
to train me to act coquettish, my mother even asked me to watch the part of "the best life for a coquettish woman" to learn to act coquetry over and over again. She said-- if you really can't, you can always imitate.
Mom, I'm sorry, but if I'm so good at imitating, I'll be a comedian.
because my parents are so sure that I can't get married, they have been arranging blind dates for me since I was 20.
I don't know what kind of strange person I am in the eyes of the introducer, but what I have encountered in the past few years has been strange.
the first blind date at the age of 20 was with a teacher from an air force academy. The introducer accompanied us to dinner in an awkward atmosphere. The dinner ended at about 07:30 in the evening. The introducer said, "you young people, go and have a drink and get to know yourself."
so we went to a nearby coffee shop.
in the evening, drink coffee, hehe.
Choose the bewitching cocktail dresses for middle age women only at a limited budget. Buy the dress you always dreamed of now.
the atmosphere continues to be awkward, but I am timid and stay at the stage of asking and answering questions.
at eight o'clock in the evening, the blind date's expression became more and more dignified, and when I was still confused, he said, "it's so late, doesn't your family call to urge you to go back?" Your tutoring is not very strict. "
I was shocked and blurted out, "it's only eight o'clock?"
the blind date said, "when do you think it is appropriate to be wild?"
at that time, I was young and hot-tempered, but I still kept my head. I didn't lift the table, but smiled awkwardly, saying that in that case, I'd better go.
the first blind date is so yellow.
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later, my relatives introduced a teacher from an art school, who was nine years older than me.
in front of me, my mother warned me to be mature, elegant, and generous, and not to be like a child, so on the day of the meeting, I wore my head, makeup, high heels, and a suit skirt.
my blind date looks like the Simpsons, but I try not to laugh. I want to be dignified.
my blind date said, "because of my work, I usually deal with many political and business dignitaries. I hope you can do some fine-tuning and plastic surgery, learn flower arrangement and tea ceremony, cultivate self-cultivation, and cultivate the temperament of some ladies."
I didn't lift the table. I wanted to be calm, so calm that I pinched my thighs under the table.
at the end of the meeting that day, the blind date said: "I feel that you are not very used to today's dress. The next time we meet, please do as you are used to. I hope to know more about you."
at that time, I was young, and I thought what people said was all right, so the second time I met, I went according to my habit of dressing.
Bugs Bunny T-shirt, jeans, shoulders, and backs.
my blind date stood on the side of the road and shouted to me, "Why are you dressed younger than my student?" Do you look like you're a teacher? "
I don't want to see this blind date for the third time.
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later, relatives introduced a lawyer, saying that this time the age is the same, so there is no need to worry about the generation gap.
We have met three times, the first time to talk about the bribery of GlaxoSmithKline, the second time to talk about the collective prostitution case of Shanghai judges, and the third time to talk about Comic-Con.
on the third time, the blind date said, "I don't think we're a good fit. You're not serious."
... okay, I'm not serious enough.
so the blind date is also pornographic.
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once I went to a relative's house to play. When I entered the door, I saw a strange family of three sitting in the living room. I felt that the atmosphere was not right. I wanted to slip away and failed.
so inexplicably began the chat between my parents and the boy's parents. At this time, my blind date, who had been silent all the time, suddenly said excitedly, "Uncle and aunt, I think we should get along with each other more. Why don't I take her out to play?"
in this way, before I realized what had happened, I was happily pushed out to be "alone" by my parents and relatives.
after leaving the relative's house, the blind date said, "you were forced, too."
I said I had no idea that there was such an arrangement, and it was embarrassing.
the blind date starts to say that he has a girlfriend, but his family disagrees because he is older and married, and he has been waiting for his divorce.
then what's wrong with this arrangement today? are you kidding me?
I said, in that case, there is no need to contact. I am leaving, the blind date said, you will be exposed if you go back too early. If you hang out and go back again, you will say that you are at odds with me.
so the blind date is also pornographic.
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and then my mom's friend joined the team to introduce me to someone.
this time I introduced a returnee who did not meet and contacted by phone. This classmate is quite foreign-style. He said that his mother has very serious education worship, so he hopes that I can bring my original diploma with me when we meet.
what kind of school does your mother like? I'll paint one as big as a wall and paste it on your wall.
because of the blurt out of this sentence, the blind date also turned yellow.
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later, I met a returnee who claimed to appreciate women's financial independence and wanted to go Dutch, and then said that he had no chance to meet me for the first time. I asked the young middle-level of the state-owned enterprise about his attitude towards keeping in touch with his old friends in the course of his relationship. I was going to have a wedding with someone else a week later, but I thought I wanted more choices; the second generation, who was bald at the age of 28 and finally relied on his family's money to take care of things. A marriage scam who claims to be a business executive who is heavily in debt and wants me to help him pay his debts after I pass the door.
after all this, my mother finally admitted that the dating website was unreliable, so relatives and friends showed up again.
A relative introduced a person whose knowledge is limited to "single and tall" and chatted on WeChat for a while. The man especially liked to tell me what books he read that day, even if I didn't reply, he said a lot to himself.
I'm like a tree hole.
then one Friday night, I was at home by myself, in a very bad mood, and poured myself up. It just so happens that this man sent me Wechat saying that he had read a book about the bondage of motherhood, so I complained to him a lot, and then the man said, where is your home? I'll pick you up. Let's talk.
the man will be here soon, with his childhood. Later, the three of us went to a barbecue restaurant to eat barbecue, he didn't drink, he wanted to drive, so I continued to drink bitterly until midnight, and I said I couldn't drink anymore. I had to go back to bed.
the next morning, I woke up drunk and thought the plot was so weird that I wanted to send a message to explain it. Just then, I found that I had been blocked.
in this way, the blind date is also yellow.
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later, my father wanted to introduce me to a teacher from their school. He originally wanted to keep it for his daughter, but his daughter did not plan to come back abroad, and the couple particularly liked this honest child, so in line with the principle of "fat water does not flow into outsiders' land", he was introduced to me. When I met for the first time, I thought it was a little strange to go empty-handed. I bought a bunch of rabbit milk sugar pillows at that time, so I gave him one as a gift for the first time. And he kept asking me why I gave him a pillow.
it's nothing, it's just easy, and it just happens to be ready-made.
when we meet, we always talk a lot about his students, so after several meetings, I know a lot about his students, but I still don't know much about this person. Every time we meet, he talks about his students with all kinds of beams. I pretended to be interested.
in this way, the two emotional black holes begin to unwittingly reduce their contact, and when they don't know what to talk about, it doesn't matter if they don't talk, until one day. He sent me a WeChat, which is a picture of a girl.
I asked, who is this?
he said, "does it look good?" I'm going to chase her. "
Oh, this is an official notification that I am pornographic.
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as a person at the bottom of the dating market with no special skills, no hobbies, sorry appearance, poor figure, and poor spirit, I think it is not without reason for me to be single.