How terrible is mind control in love

the divorce of Wang Leehom and Li Lianglei has been in an uproar in the past two days.

Xiaohuo not only eats melons but also popularizes some psychological knowledge by science. For example, in an intimate relationship, gas lamp manipulation

such as NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)

both words can be related-- PUA

Xiao Huo feels it necessary to have a good talk with you about PUA. Only when you have a certain understanding of this aspect can you be vigilant to prevent yourself from getting hurt.

Today's push topic is rather boring, but Xiao Huo hopes that everyone will take a closer look and let the friends around you take a look.

(the picture shows Fu Shenxing, the actor in the TV series "things in the palm".

what is PUA?

pua means to pick up an artist, initially acting as an image appreciated by a woman, transferring all your survival motivation to him, and then grabbing a little bit of a bad thing about a woman, constantly belittling it, and destroying a girl's self-confidence and psychological line of defense little by little.

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these can either be summed up as a privilege in this relationship with low EQ, low love for business and unrepentance, or secretly poke and belittle you, satisfy your male self-esteem, and put you firmly at a disadvantage to coax him in love.

in a word, emotion makes the other half worship and depend on themselves by belittling the other half.

the famous five-step trap in pua, also known as pet cultivation, is one of the scariest methods of suppressing girls. Why is it called pet cultivation? Quite simply, the controlled target can no longer be called a human in the end but is completely reduced to a dog of the other party. The five-step trap consists of curiosity trap, exploring trap, obsession trap, destroying trap, and emotional reinforcement trap.

the basic trick of pua is to belittle suppression-pull maintenance. the most terrible thing is to let the other person through invisible belittling, but also let the other person pretend that he has seen the real himself. No matter how ridiculous his belittling is, he takes advantage of the submissive character in women's bones, first belittling and then pulling up, and finally destroying the confidence of women in communicating with other normal people. When the other person is serious, he says it's just a joke. Don't take it seriously.

there is also a popular science video about pua, which comes from Xiao Huo's favorite variety show, "Star Detective"

Xiao Huo does not raise this topic to "demonize" PUA, to make people fear and fear it.

although PUA has been in the limelight in recent years, it boils down to the three axes, and we can crack these tricks after we understand it.

how to prevent PUA routines

watch this video "Anti-PUA routines" first. It still comes from Xiaohuo's favorite variety show, "Star Detective"

I think it is to keep a clear understanding of ourselves at all times and communicate with close family and friends. To fall in love is to make your image gentler, more open, and better, rather than subconsciously changing yourself with your boyfriend's preferences and making your emotional system closed, with the feeling that you can't live without your boyfriend. Once you have this emotion, please stay away from him in time!

if you feel that you are under mental control given by the other person in your relationship, you must keep the following points in mind.

how to get rid of mental control in emotion?

1. Recognize the hurt: if you always feel dominated in a relationship, even feel that your value has become cheap, always feel that you need to be better to match him, and feel tired, anxious, and helpless in love, these are all signs of "mind control". If you find this hint, stop the loss in time. 2. Get rid of guilt: A person who is hurt in mind control often feels a strong sense of guilt, which can hold the victim back in a wrong relationship. We should understand that it is unreasonable for us to take full responsibility for the conflict in this intimate relationship, and we cannot and should not take responsibility for each other's mistakes. 3. Not afraid of conflict: when the victim is hurt in an intimate relationship, he or she will often choose the way of grievance to avoid conflict between the two parties and maintain a "bad balance" in the relationship. But, when we are aggrieved and ask for perfection, the abuser will only do more harm, and in an intimate relationship, there is no need to maintain a "bad balance". We should not be afraid of conflict and stop being victimized. 4. Other people's support: because of the concealment of mind control, friends around you may not see that you are suffering. Finding the support of someone who can feel our pain can make us more dependent on leaving a close relationship of mental abuse. Ask friends or family you trust and work with them to sort out your thoughts and potential needs. Get them to support your ideas, beliefs, and stay away from suggestive manipulation.

in short:

1 stay away from your miserable lover 2 No one can force you to be yourself 3 Don't be too clingy, you must have your own circle 4 you must have the ability to make money 5 remember a person loves you, he won't force you to do something you don't like at all. He will certainly take care of your feelings and make you feel comfortable.

after all, love is tolerance, trust, although you have shortcomings, I will also love your shortcomings. Not control, not possession.

May girls harvest sweet love and stay away from the harm that love brings to them.

whether others love you or not, love yourself!