I wish there was someone like you.

at the age of 17, because I was going to transfer to another school, I temporarily lodged at my second aunt's house, Dezhi High School, and the key point of the city. My cousin said that low achievers existed like me, but for a little nepotism, I would not have had this kind of lucky fortune at all. Well, I admit, ever since I was a child, I was the kind of kid who could only hover above the passing line even if I stayed up and read the hanging beam at night. Not to mention honoring my ancestors, I was very happy if I didn't jump out of my dream and beat myself with my examination paper. Perhaps it is because of this that my father painstakingly transferred me to the art class of Dezhi High School, relying on my paintbrush from elementary school to big, taking a seemingly safe shortcut. Dad is so naive that there is no shortcut without paying a price. And I've been wondering what my price will be.

the first time you spoke to me was at the art report show. You were so good-looking that I took an extra look even though I was embarrassed. You were punished to stand at the back of the stage with a painting in your hand. I looked at the shadows that intertwined with light and shade blankly. When I raised my eyes, I found that you were waving to me, your eyebrows were high, and the anxiety in your eyes seemed to jump out and run all over the ground. I walked two steps faster and stopped in a small square spread one meter away. I heard you say, classmate, could you do me a favor and help me hide this painting? I'm from the class next door. I'll get it from you after school.

I hid the painting behind the curtains and dared not go to the playground to see the show all afternoon for fear that this secret, which only belongs to the two of us, should be discovered. Little girls, all the secrets have something to do with inexplicable feelings.

I have already seen you in my old school. You are a freshman who came to our school to play basketball at Dezhi High School. All the girls in the class came to the playground and said they came to see the handsome boy of Dezhi High School, who is also your upperclassman, Wang Yang. He is quite handsome, but not as good-looking as you, can you understand, handsome is not the same. When you say the word good-looking, it's like pouring your heart into it. It only belongs to one person, and I'm afraid there are too many handsome people in the world.

We've had dinner, watched a movie, and I went to your house to sweep the floor for you. You sent me flowers, saying it was from another girl, but you didn't want them. I made a sandwich for you, and then I heard your deskmate say that you didn't want to eat even after holding a lesson. But you told me because it wasn't delicious at all. You always rub my hair, especially after I cut my hair short, you say I look like a mushroom, when I am in a hurry, I say, then you are Super Mario.

that was the first time I saw you blush. Scolded me as a psychopath and turned away. At that time, I was very sad and thought that you and I did not know each other well enough to joke like this. Now think about it, maybe I'm the stupid one.

I still dare not watch the campus youth drama, just like I am 24 years old, but I am still moved by the sparkling 17-year-old boy when I look through the old photos.

when I was 16 or 17 years old, I stood on the edge of the flower bed and looked at you who wanted to stop. The wind blew away the language stuck in your throat. I only saw the scarf you brought for me, which was so yearning for the ice and snow. I was sorry that I, who did not have the courage, held back a pair of hands that wanted to grab your sleeve. I also held back a question that made me melancholy today.

you liked me, didn't you?

well, it has been too many years, and there is no need to raise some problems even if we meet again. It's good if you don't remember. It's even better if you remember. We have grown up with each other, and getting to know each other is a thing of constant retrogression.

I'm not trying to get back together with you. I just want to be a different existence from others in your heart, like the immortal existence of youth.

We walk side by side on campus, one cares too much, one is too careless, two people with different paths spend different time and consume opposite feelings. I have no luck to waste the rest of my life on you. I can only watch you walk around on a beautiful journey. I occasionally appear, but I can never be a postcard you send home.

maybe someone will give me a mattress with soft palms, maybe someone will be frank and brave, give me a diamond ring, or someone with broad shoulders will give me an old record that has been in my bookcase for a long time but has been missing forever. maybe there's someone else. Stay by my side and write down all the time that has flowed through us, just like carrying all the annual bills of Tmall supermarket in the past, whispering in my ear that the most worthwhile thing I have ever bought in a year, the most saved, how many big bargains I accidentally picked up from the sky, these data are not cold things, they are proof that they accumulate day by day. It proves how different I am from others. exists in the hearts of those who love me, and in the hearts of those I love. I calculated my fate with Tmall's annual bill. I took a look at myself in my best times. Maybe I was destined to indulge sometimes, sometimes give up, and sometimes stick to it just for a glance.

when we meet on the road, we all have the same opportunities as gift packages, and life is always full of surprises. Tmall is always without coupons and prizes, opening the annual bill of Tmall supermarket, getting to know a different self, and getting a big gift from the New year.

I wish I had someone like you, and I wish I could see what kind of person I am in the annual bill of Tmall supermarket.

after I have tasted the lively loneliness, I found that what I want most is to laugh and talk with you in the wind.

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say goodbye for a year and wait for the last day of the year. I don't care if anyone cheers for me after the finish line. I just want to know if it could still be you who is waiting for me at the finish line.

my mind is hidden in the fundus, not to say in vain, not to be embarrassed, but to say that sooner or later in life, it is difficult for people to be like this sooner or later. I remember the picture you gave me before graduation. It shows a man who looks like me.

I blinked and asked you, "are you drawing me?"

you scratched your head and told me, "what are you thinking? why should I draw you? I read about this person from a book, that is." It's just a little bit like you. " It's good to be young, whether it's right or not. Like there is always a chance to turn back, like the people around you are always on the same campus, like all people, do not understand the meaning of meeting and parting.

I wish someone like you could break into a beautiful world with only a little love.

you, who lived in my adolescence, are so beautiful. All the boys in the school are not as good-looking as you.