Only the guilty will speak loudly.

I already told you, don't leave me. & quot;

(1)

my friend Haw, when he met us for the first time, said to us, "I am very fond of joking. Never mind." When he became familiar, he always made fun of M's ex-girlfriend who had just broken up in public. M asked him to stop saying similar things several times in private, but he replied, "I told you. I just like to joke, but I don't mean anything. Why are you still angry?"

on the first day of a team, a male student told us, "We have so many professional courses that I may not have time to do too much group homework." So he did not attend the regular meeting after that, and all the work was undertaken by other members. In the final group evaluation, his partner's score was so low that he asked us, "didn't I tell you?" I'm so busy in my major class that I don't have time to do group homework. Why are you still chasing me? "

I have told you that I have bad habits of one kind or another. I told you, why are you blaming me?

I don't know why I, we all have this habit.

I'll tell you what's going to happen, and then let it happen. In this way, we have found a wonderful reason not to blame ourselves.

(II)

some people even regard shortcomings as their characteristics. He'll tell you bluntly that's who he is. He thought, "if you can't accept my little weakness, you can't be called my friend."

there was such a boy around me who said he had lost a lot of friends in high school because he was outspoken. I asked him, do you regret it? His answer is, I do not regret it, I am such an outspoken person, they left me to show that they do not deserve to be my friends.

then he said nonsense, again and again, testing my minefield, and finally, he lost me, too.

instead of apologizing for his nonsense, he said to me, "you leave me, it means you don't deserve to be my friend." You don't understand me. "

I don't understand why so many people like to use "do you tolerate my shortcomings" as the criterion for judging friends. No one in the world must accept your shortcomings. I never ask anyone to be perfect, but I have the right to choose. If you have a lot of bad, or your shortcomings do not touch my bottom line, we have far more happiness than pain, so we can be friends. But you step on my pain point again and again, although I already know that you are such a person, although you said ugly things first, I still choose to leave you.

because you would rather repeat your shortcomings to others than try to correct them.

I don't think I can be hurt by you anymore.

just like you say "I'm going to hit you" before you hit someone, and then say to yourself, now that I've told you I'm going to hit you, you shouldn't be angry. But you don't know that the pain of the other person after being beaten will not be reduced by your advice.

anyway, you just hurt him.

so you should apologize instead of standing there and asking why the other person doesn't tolerate you.

(3)

until I met the American Sam at school, I didn't get rid of that bad habit of speaking English. He asked me for directions. I had planned to avoid speaking English again under the excuse that I was not good at English, but he told me more enthusiastically in English, "if you are not good at English, you will practice better!" So Sam became my foreign teacher and my first foreign friend.

oral English is getting better, and then I understand why I once developed the problem of telling you my oral English was poor in the first sentence I met.

because of guilt.

because I am feeling inferior.

the more cowardly a person is, the louder he talks. You are well aware of your weakness, and you are well aware of its importance. But you realize that you can't change it, and you don't have the strength to get rid of it. At the same time, you are also afraid that others will discover your weakness, so you might as well say it out loud to hide your guilt.

so you yell and tell people all over the world that I am like this, and you all have to put up with me. You can't accept that your friends alienate you again and again because of the same problems, and you can't accept yourself who can't get rid of your shortcomings. You tell yourself again and again, "they left me because they don't deserve to be my friends. I already told them I was like this."

just like my bad spoken English before. I know that it is difficult for me to stay in an all-English school because of my poor oral English, but I don't believe I can speak English well. I feel deeply self-abased when I hear other people's fluent conversations, so I tell everyone loudly that my English is not good, and don't force me. If when you form a team, you will alienate me because of my poor oral English, and if you won't let me give a speech because of my bad accent, then you are a shallow person who doesn't understand me.

it's just that the louder I scream, IThe more self-abased I feel in my heart.

(IV)

I think everyone knows exactly what their problem is.

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it's just that some people are willing to change, some people are willing to say, and some people deliberately regard disadvantages as strengths and call it a criterion for selecting friends.

No one is obliged to accept your unbridled jokes, no one is willing to bring a person whose English is so poor to give a speech, no one is willing to be vilified by your same shortcomings every day, and no one cares if you tell the world before you do something bad.

all people care about is whether you bring them happiness or trouble, whether you are radiant or messy every day, whether your shortcomings are getting fewer and fewer, and whether you are gradually trying to get better.

I don't know how many people will leave Haw because of Haw's joke. I don't know how many people will team up with the boy who has a lot of homework in that college. I don't know who the outspoken boy who lost me will lose. I don't know how many people will deceive themselves and others to tell everyone about their shortcomings for sympathy and forgiveness.

all I know is that after I get better after learning IELTS oral English, I no longer need to use excuses to hide my guilt, no longer need to tell the other person that my English is not good, I am no longer nervous about the stage, and begin to plan to travel abroad by myself.

I know that we all felt inferior to one of our shortcomings, spoke loudly to hide our guilt, and were the fools who thought that I would not hurt you if I told you the consequences in advance. But I am glad that I no longer have to feel inferior because of English. I no longer have to worry about who will look down on me because of my English.

I'm trying to get better.