"you always don't understand me."

one.

at the end of each year, I look for New year's goods for my parents in advance.

there are not many opportunities for me to choose the price from high to low, and the New year goods I buy for my parents are gone.

2020 was a difficult year. The pressure of work made it difficult for me to take care of myself, and I had even less time to care about my family. I was ashamed that I had even forgotten my father's birthday.

towards the end of the year, buying gifts has become one of the few opportunities to express your feelings to your parents.

I want to use this to prove to my parents that they are doing well, to reassure them, and to let them know that my thoughts for them have not changed.

but unfortunately, no matter how expensive the gifts are and how carefully I prepared them, my parents seldom seem satisfied with them.

so this year I heard the saying again:

"another waste of money."

two.

"another waste of money". To be honest, this sentence is frustrating, and it comes from my parents.

especially when I was expecting a response, they directly ignored my soft thoughts hidden in the gift.

ignoring the short boots I bought for my mother, I overheard her whisper that she had caught a cold ankle and bought red wine for my father to save face in front of his friends.

even, though they rigidly turned all my thoughts into how much the gift cost.

so every time they ask about the price of something, I will make a big discount and say it again.

what I gave my mother this year is Dior's lipstick box. After she asked the price as usual and I answered a ridiculously low price, she frowned and showed some heartache.

when she tried out the color in front of the mirror, she chanted that this one was too pink, and the other one was too young and too dignified to use so many colors herself.

hearing this, I was finally a little impatient and couldn't help saying, "can you understand me?"

as soon as I uttered the words, I regretted it, because I saw my mother's injured face like a child who made a mistake.

she stood there and stumbled and explained, "I'm just afraid you'll spend money. The gift box is so expensive that I can't use it."

at that moment, I suddenly realized that she might just not want to trade my hard work for her enjoyment.

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so she tries to prove that she doesn't need them by disdaining expensive gifts.

strangely, parents seem to have their own "double-label" attribute: buying gifts for them is a waste, and spending money on myself is worth it.

because in parents' perception, the things they receive are cheaper, which means that their children can take better care of themselves.

superficial fastidiousness and dislike are just a subtle ways for them to convey their love.

like the words "come for dinner" shouted by the mother at the bedroom door after the quarrel, and the words in the video of the mother shouting about her daughter, "Don't think I don't know, your mother is also very fashion", both hide their love.

three.

parents are also a reading comprehension problem, which requires your heart and patience to solve the problem, and you need to understand the love behind it.

but I'm still not going to give up spending money to please my parents. I'm just going to buy gifts that they think are worth it in a different way.

because I know they don't want it but are ashamed to say "I like it very much".

I know that my mother will wear those short boots when visiting relatives and friends, even if the size of those shoes is too small.

while some people come home to pay New year's greetings, the father will pretend to inadvertently lead them to the wine counter and point to the two bottles of red wine and say that they were bought by his daughter.

only with my mother, whether I went shopping for her when I was a child or picked out gifts when I grew up, I could not escape the curse of "buying too much".