Substitute

when I was with Qin Miao, I miss Jinqiu. And the days I spent with Jinqiu, I often secretly miss Jiake. This is my way of survival. I met Qin Miao on a blind date and got married half a year later. During the first month of dating Qin Miao, he didn't like to kiss me. Occasionally, his kiss fell on my lips, light, and light, just like him. On a rainy day, he drove to the downstairs of the company to pick me up and carefully brought his coat. I felt warm under my heart and took the initiative to kiss him sideways. 

He just smiled and then turned to start the car. I'm not upset. Only when I was going to sleep late at night, did I suddenly remember the kiss of Jinqiu? The kiss of warm entanglement made my body and heart wet and wet. I smiled in the darkness of the night. In his third month with Qin Miao, he was not used to hugging on Rest. I turned sideways to the corner, searching for the embrace of Jinqiu in my memory, he hugged me tightly, and we reached our heads, breathing and breathing each other, and our consciousness was hazy in the warm breath. While Qin Miao was cooking, Qin Miao was sitting in the living room watching the football game. I stood in the kitchen alone with a kitchen knife. I remembered that Jin Qiu used to mess around while I was cooking and tune Sucker Punch in the name of help. The housewife's face was gentle in the fireworks-filled kitchen. There is a photo of a long-haired woman in Qin Miao's mobile phone album, which was taken a few years ago. He answered the phone in front of me several times, and the same female voice was leaked from his cell phone.

my husband's tone was hesitant and cold, but everyone could tell the unfinished feelings below. Qin Miao was surrounded by the shadow of a woman. I know. But turned a deaf ear. I do not check Qin Miao's mobile phone, do not check Qin Miao's chat records, and do not check his post when he comes home late. You see, I am calm and calm. I am his elegant wife. The woman named Coco wrote to my work mailbox. I host a late-night heart-to-heart talk program on the radio, which is designed to answer questions for infatuated men and women. Coco said she couldn't forget her ex-boyfriend, and she knew he couldn't forget herself, but he was someone else's husband. Coco asked me what to do and whether I should bravely pursue my feelings, hoping to hear your answer on the show. I answered her in the program, following my heart, but I needed to be aware of the price I paid.

you need to judge whether you are willing to bear the possible outcome, and if the answer is certain, you can go ahead and do it. Watching TV in the evening, I chatted with Qin Miao about this letter. Qin replied that men treat marriage more rationally than women, and since they would have chosen this marriage in the first place, they would not be willing to give up easily. In these words, there are love words that Qin Miao wants to say to me. I hear the warmth in my heart. I put my hand in the palm of his hand. When Qin Miao kissed me, I closed my eyes and I thought of Jinqiu again. The Jin and Autumn period are good in every way. Jin Qiu once said in his ear: "Yu Wei, I am willing to do anything, and I do not want you to have the slightest sadness in your heart." Jinqiu must not be willing to let me feel sad for the women around him. Qin Miao is used to coming up to me from time to time, holding me in his arms, and kissing me. And the woman behind Qin Miao began to show up. In the radio audience forum, in my private podcast, the woman followed under the name of "Aimiao", containing sand that only I could understand, shooting a shadow that only wanted to be imprinted on my heart. I deleted it after reading it and ignored it. You've got to be kidding me. Work is so busy, household chores are not easy, prices are skyrocketing, the world is restless, even the two neighboring countries, South Korea and North Korea have opened fire, who has the leisure to manage the red apricot spring trouble? The woman couldn't stand it, so she finally called me on my cell phone and asked me to meet her in the teahouse downstairs.

seems to have done enough homework. A woman with long hair is no longer young. At our age, fat fans can't hide the indicator of decline. In front of this woman, she put all her roots in the old-time, which made me feel sad. She said I am Coco. I have come to see you today and have told Qin Miao. I sat opposite, watching the fresh Mao Feng in the glass teapot stretch out upright between Scald and listening to the woman's passionate entanglement with my husband for four years before me. My eyes were a little distracted when I heard the beauty of the relationship. Yes, I miss Jinqiu. I miss Jinqiu. I have loved in this way, only more, no less. But that doesn't make me a weak wife. I asked her why he didn't stay with you when you were so nice. If he can't afford it, why let a lonely woman come to your door and pretend to be such an embarrassing red face? The woman suddenly sat in the opposite chair with her hands tied like a discouraged ball. I looked at her gently with the pity of a woman and told her, "next time a man says he wants to give you hello and let him solve all the problems he faces." Yes, Qin Miao has a modest demeanor, cherishes his family's name, treats me considerately, and wins the hearts of my parents, relatives, and friends. Why should I give up my husband to her? In the taxi home, I leaned my head against the window and looked out of the window at the beginning of the lights. I know I'm sick. Maybe everyone in this city has hidden diseases.

the hidden disease of love. I often fall into nostalgia. Besides Qin Miao, I miss Jinqiu. Memories of their removal of decay, only sweet, for me to create a better Jin Qiu. Jinqiu came back to me before I got married and earnestly asked to get back together. I chose to refuse without hesitation. I remember why we broke up: Jinqiu was grumpy, Hershey was obedient, but when it was bad, it could be violent enough to fight each other, and then burst into tears and asked for forgiveness. After three rounds, I was determined to break up and would never tolerate it. And under the fists of Jinqiu, I also miss my predecessors Jiake, and I also miss Jake, who is also determined not to look back: Jiake is gentle and even merciful everywhere. I heal my wounds with yearning, like neutralizing the bitterness of traditional Chinese medicine with sugar.

you know that if people want to live, it is inevitable to taste a little bitterness. The important thing is to neutralize them, not to expand them infinitely. Expanding suffering is the easiest way to push yourself into a corner. Always remember to give yourself a treat, but don't become addicted to sugar. I draw warmth from memories, which never means that I will be nostalgic enough to forget my lessons. Why are we who we are? I know it's because it's the best we can have right now. The people around us are the best people we can meet. What we live is the best life in the field of choice. I miss the past, nothing more than virtual self-protection. For a patient like me, heating is the only thing I remember. Mission. When my body sinks in this ungrasped world of joys and sorrows, those memories are a utopia that cannot be put on the table. There is a piece of my heart left in the past forever, and there is not enough room for suspicion and sadness in the present life. I used to be a cocoon, wrapped up gently now, joy and pain are less than others. I am half asleep and half awake, looking for pure white stability in dreams and reality. I became a hopeless and cunning patient, stealing half of my life. 

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As in the old days, carrying the vegetables bought in the supermarket downstairs, I went home. Qin Miao, who ran to open the door at the sound, was very nervous. He opened the door and took the shopping bag in my hand, carefully catching my face with his eyes. I bowed my head to change my shoes and asked him to bring the food into the kitchen. He's behind me. 

Did she come to you? Qin Miao explained hastily: "it's my ex-girlfriend who met you. She couldn't let go of what happened too long ago." What did she say to you? Don't worry. I have no intention of making peace with her. " I looked back at him and smiled, "I know." In the small kitchen, my husband hugged me from behind, moving gently and affectionately. He has already begun to get used to cooking with me. I know that no one in my life is destined to wait for me to love me. I am just one of the millions of ordinary women in this world, and we are not the darling of God in the legend. If I don't meet the man in my life early enough, then I must be grateful for fate. At least it's not too late. Even if the story gets off to a bad start and the spark is flat, there is no need to worry. If there is enough fate, let feelings, no, no, time, let time tame us. It's just that when I was bowing my head and cutting vegetables, I thought of Coco's words. Across a pot of green tea, my adversary was surprised and asked me, "Don't you mind becoming someone else's Substitute?" I have a voice at the bottom of my heart with a cold smile.

who in the world is not Substitute? No one in the world deserves to be a prototype. We have our fear, worry about gain and loss, Substitute is our best partner. In the square kitchen, I looked at the noisy fireworks in the dense windows of the opposite building. I still remember how to imagine adult life in front of other people's lights when I was young. Magpie Bridge in July, fire in August. In front of me, the row is full of red pepper, purple eggplant, green vegetables, and white mushrooms, colorful to show the joy of the world. My husband is adept at washing vegetables. My child, on the other hand, practiced kicking and touching with his young siblings in his belly. You say life is so huge, who has the mind, no matter who is whose Substitute?

fresh pepper is so spicy that I burst into tears.