The art of fooling children
As long as the speed of growth is faster than the speed of broken dreams, all contusions will become nourishing instead.
one of my favorite stories in Shi Shuo Xinyu is about Xie an and Xie Xuan. When he was a child, Xie Xuan liked to wear a purple sachet and hang his hands (I don't know what it was), and he was very flirtatious and narcissistic. His uncle Xie knew that this hobby might not be tolerated by society in the long run, but he didn't want to hurt the children's hearts, so he thought of it away. He pretended to gamble with Xie Xuan, won the sachet, and then secretly burned it.
there are many ways for adults to deal with children's naive and kind thoughts. For example, talk to him about the reasons why it is inappropriate for a boy to wear a purple sachet. One, two, three, humiliate him from being gay, or directly snatch and burn the purple sachet. But Xie chose the most gentle one. For the moral standards of adults, this method is not necessarily the most legitimate, or even not fair and aboveboard, but it is the most acceptable to children at that age.
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when I was a graduate student, my tutor, Mr. Luo, fooled me in this way.
the first time was the summer vacation of my senior year. As soon as I got back from Hong Kong, I got off the plane and received a call from Mr. Luo, saying that he had contributed a draft for me, which was now hired, and asked me to remit a few hundred-page fees to the editorial department. For the first time in my life, I heard that I had to pay for an article without a fee, and I thought it was outrageous. He was stupefied on the phone for a second, then made up an excuse to say that because you are an undergraduate now, you will not need it when you are a graduate student. I thought there was hope in life, so I went to remit the money.
the second time was before graduating from the third year of graduate school, I went to the library of normal University to look up ancient books. I took so many pictures that the administrator deleted 2/3 of them in public by pressing the camera. I felt very embarrassed. I called Mr. Cao, the curator, to ask for preferential treatment. As a result, the curator said it was better to follow the rules. Now I am even more humiliated, crying to death. On that day, someone announced that he was going to jump at the top of the library, and onlookers thought I was the one who jumped from the building when they saw me crying so much. Now I cried from the guru to the railway station and called my mentor to complain. As a result, he fooled me and said it was nothing. The next time I asked Mr. Cao to drink Maotai, he would let you take a picture.
things have passed for many years, and I have finally reached the age when I understand that master's degree students have to pay a layout fee and that the curator can't take all of Maotai's ancient books. But at this time, when I encounter a similar thing again, it is not so easy to suspect that it is because my status is too low and my work is too bad. In addition, I am more able to separate the system from the people, knowing that in front of those asshole's system, it is the maker of the system, not me, who should be ashamed. Now I still have a lot of similar things that I can't handle, but what I feel is a sense of frustration, not a sense of shame.
my students are old enough to be graduate students. A chick went to Mr. Coro's graduate student, failed to pass the examination, and transferred to another major. The little girl still politely took the train to teacher Luo's class. The first time we met, Mr. Luo proudly taught the little girl that ancient literature was so difficult, professional, and cold that it was almost impossible for you to turn back. After a week, one day there was heavy rain, and Miss Luo called her to class again. In the evening, the little girl came back by train again. According to her, after teacher Luo finished what she said last week, she went back and thought about it for fear of hurting her little heart, so she took the opportunity of class to call her again, demonstrating the counter-proposition that "although ancient literature is a very professional and aloof major, there is still a chance to turn back again."
I thought of the past when he fooled me and the story of Xie and fooling Xie Xuan, so I felt very relieved about the future of the little girl. Mr. Lu Xun said, "put up the dark floodgates and let them go to the place of light." This is a very responsible thing to say, but if the children know all the darkness in the gate on your shoulder, will they still have the courage to move on and walk to the light? On the other hand, the kinder father does not take away the dreams from his children's hearts, waiting for their bones to grow in their sleep and their minds to mature in their sleep. As long as the speed of growth is faster than the speed of broken dreams, all contusions will become nourishing instead.