Welcome to the great desert of the adult world.

on July 3, three years ago, I signed a labor contract with the company I am working for, had my first formal job, and started my "08:30 to 05:30"executive dog + material dog" career.

hesitation, entanglement, confusion. My main state was when I first joined the job at that time. And all this was quietly covered up by me in a silent way. I have never shared these emotions with anyone, and I am more likely to force myself to be buried deep in my heart. Greet Monday with regret every week and wait for Friday with relief. Every morning from Monday to Friday, I go out reluctantly, slowly take the subway, and then change to the bus. When I arrive at the station, I am always reluctant to get off. I would rather go around by bus alone for 15 minutes. I don't read much on weekdays, and I'm more likely to anesthetize myself by watching American TV dramas and movies in my spare time. Completely cut off the habit and interest of writing, in as long as more than a year, my Douban home page has become a barren land.

after graduating from college, I left the paradise of Nianzi, which seems to have lost the possibility of maintaining well-being. From then on, I entered the great desert of the adult world, without the pride and self-confidence I took for granted. I was cautious and courteous in everything. In this new strange environment, in the face of colleagues and leaders who are far from my age, everything is unpredictable and unknowable. Worry, fear and panic become the invisible norm. I am like being trapped in a lonely city. I don't know how to get out. I can only guard the empty city and feel lonely.

what on earth makes your state of mind so bad? I asked myself more than once. Finally got rid of the anxiety that job search was frustrated everywhere, and all the dust settled. I didn't feel very happy. I just breathed a sigh of relief. But after this sigh of relief, he began to complain again and again, unwillingly thinking that the reality is far from the ideal. So what is the ideal job? I can't answer. This seems to be an endless cycle, even if not satisfied with the status quo, but do not know where they want to go.

Life is slowly taking a turn for the better. After a period of work training, I began to think that it is not difficult for me to be a good material dog, but I don't enjoy it. I tried to find an interest in life other than my job, started reading again, and studied the knowledge of separation seriously and systematically. On the way to and from work, I no longer watch TV dramas with my mobile phone but read all kinds of books. I began to take book notes, write book reviews, drama reviews, and film reviews, and try to restore the ability to think and the courage to write.

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then, with the advent of a new life, the pain and anxiety of the past were easily solved. This peace of mind is at ease in this body. My life, from breaking away from the beginning to the minimalism, lightless food, reading addiction. The focus of my sight is not only the rest in front of me but also the distance, ideals, and all kinds of beautiful fantasies that exist in my brain.

appreciate the saying: "when we meet in the world, we are always attracting people of the same frequency." What you like, you always have to achieve it first. " I met my little friend who fell in love at first sight and fell in love with goodbye. Due to a high degree of mutual recognition and agreement between us, our feelings are heating up rapidly. Thanks to the companionship and sharing of my friends day after day, I suddenly realized the difference between the changes and the formation that have taken place in myself.

hesitation, entanglement, and confusion have not disappeared, but they are no longer out of resistance and exclusion to work and life for no reason.

the adult world is a great dessert. Maybe you can disagree with my paranoia and pessimism. But it will certainly show you the cold side of life. Not everyone will take care of you, comfort you, and protect you. You need to find yourself a partner, physically and spiritually, in countless times of bumping into a brick wall and seemingly hopeless search. You should learn to take responsibility for your choices, accept and bear the consequences of each choice. You need to think clearly: do you want to be reckless because of bravery, or cowardice because of prudence? There are thousands of such questions, which are innumerable and impossible to answer. Devote yourself to this great desert, do not stop walking, it is possible to find part of the answer to the question.

Welcome to the great desert of the adult world. Here, no one will come to inform you that you should be criticized if you don't wear a school uniform or a red scarf today. Wear it or not, whatever you want. Here, everyone is free, economically independent, independent in life, and can build his own life at will.

We need a belief and doctrine as the foundation, to believe in God or not, to believe in fate, or to be vigilant and skeptical all the time.

We need an idea as a rope to climb upward, which can be allowed to wander because of the illusory ideal, but will eventually stick to it because of the "love in my heart".

We need the entertainment to please ourselves. It is very important to be in a good mood. Instead of pleasing unimportant people, we only care about ourselves and our loved ones. Focus on energy, give your heart, and protect your mood. The deeper you go, the lonelier you may be, but the more confident you will be.

build a city for yourself, not to seal yourself off, but to climb the watchtower at the head of the city step by step and see a different view of life. Looking ahead, my life has something to believe in, something to persevere in, and something to comfort. Looking around, around me, some people love each other, those who love deeply, and those who love me.

my heart is no longer helpless, which is, in a sense, the greatest victory in the past three years. Now I just want to wear simple clothes, do good work, write gentle articles, eat light food, and see comfortable people. Live a pure cotton life, be a simple person, kind, sincere, compassionate, bright.